#19 The topic of my today’s post is rather entertaining, although some people find it deeply disturbing

dreamingI actively participate in an on-line community of members of the Mormon church – both young and old – who strive to be faithful to the Gospel while experiencing same-sex attraction. It is quite a diverse group of people, rather open minded and generally fun to associate with. If you are interested, you can check the requirements for joining the group here.

In the group, we discuss various topics, sometimes more serious, other times less. Although I find the topic of my today’s blog post rather flippant, rest assured that some of my fellow same-sex attracted sojourners consider it deadly serious. What’s the topic? I will be writing today about dreams with the sexual content.

Zero control, zero responsibility

I’m sure quite a few people have them. I have them. And those who have same-sex attraction have a very particular kind of them. The kind which is sometimes upsetting for a gay person who would want to square himself with his faith in God.

When I have them, I find those dreams quite entertaining. I know that I have precisely zero control over them. And that means that I have zero responsibility for them.

Before I proceed, let me say that I do not pray for them to occur, nor do I allow them to influence my conscious behavior. In order to make sure that they have zero influence on me while I’m awake, I do some things in advance. I make keen decisions about my life. I decide to honor my covenants with God. To honor my friendships. And to honor my wife, my kids and my family. And I do not allow even a shadow of doubt to creep into my consciousness about these things.

I refuse to feel guilty

So, when my sexual dreams occur, I am not bothered. I refuse to feel guilty because of them. And the best way to do that is to look at them lightheartedly. I poke fun at them. In a sense, I crush any sliver of guilt in me by allowing myself to enjoy them just a little bit, while never dwelling on them.

Those dreams, like any other dreams, are sometimes related to my thoughts and experiences of a previous day. But there is no causality whatsoever. If anyone tries to persuade you that there is a direct cause-effect relationship between the two, you should not take him seriously. Such notions are ridiculous at best, and downright sinister at worst.

So, dreaming erotic dreams is nothing to be concerned about, as long as they do not influence your every day life. And if for any reason such dreams begin to influence your life, it is the life that should be put in order, not dreams.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Tammy
    Dec 11, 2012 @ 18:58:35

    I agree 100% percent and I’m very glad you do not harbor any guild in this area. Our subconscious knows what it’s doing.


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