#22 Have I really overcome my same-sex attraction to the point of no return to an alternative gay lifestyle?

knotI’m sorry guys. I can’t help myself but to feel very invigorated, excited, animated, stirred, stimulated with my same-sex attraction. I like to write for my blog very much. I’m so into it that someone can become suspicious, particularly my wife. “Has he really overcome it to the point where he would never reconsider his decision to pursue a mixed-orientation marriage gay lifestyle?”

An interesting question. Well, I hope you won’t get me wrong if I say that I keep reconsidering it every single day. Sometimes even more than once. This is to be expected. Why? Because I keep experiencing same-sex attraction every single day.

However, I do my every day (re)considerations in a particular way. In times without distress, I keep finding good reasons why I should remain in a mixed-orientation relationship and I piling them up at one place. I also keep finding reasons why I should not pursue a homosexual relationship and piling them up nearby. And finally, every once in a while – as I am hit by a powerful crush on a guy or any other adversary – I ask myself a simple question: “Do I really want to start pursuing my homosexual desires by starting a hard work of unhoarding all those reasons?” Since I am a terribly lazy person, my answer is resounding “No!”. More